gosh i just had the crappiest day. i've been feeling so overwhelmed lately, with work and things to do around the house. at both places i feel like i'm constantly playing a game of "catch up." i feel like i'm never getting anything done, and that once i finish one thing, 5 new things pop up that i have to take care of.

the house is a mess, and neither scott or I have done ANY work on the house (like painting, finishing curtains, doing crown molding, etc.) since before our housewarming party. i guess it was ok to take a little time off, but it should have only been a week or two, not 2 months.

i just haven't been myself in so long... since before we bought the house. since before the holidays last year. i feel like i've been running myself ragged for months. i am so unorganized and have been paying bills late and my desk at home is so freaking messy, it's covered in mail. some unopened!

in fact, here is a great bill-paying story: i kept trying to remind myself to pay my credit card bill (the one that's just in my name). it was due on July 8. well July 8 came and went, and i didn't have the TIME to pay it. this is no joke. each morning i would wake up and remind myself to go online while at work and pay the bill. well around the 13th i finally called the credit card company to make the payment... when the customer service person told me i had already paid this month's bill, on July 3rd... ? Am i seriously going crazy? i had made the payment and completely forgotten about it.

the worst thing is, i don't even know where to start. today i had ALL day to get the house cleaned and organized (it would only take a couple of hours) but what did i do? i went shopping with scott and then came home and watched a few on-demand programs (including the entire 1st season of Sex & the City). it is now 8pm and i have not accomplished one damned thing today.

and that makes me feel all guilty and anxious... it's like this horrible cycle that i can't break out of.

i mean i guess it is ok for me to just take a day to be LAZY, instead of running around all strung-out and crazy. but now tomorrow we have plans, and on top of those plans i have to find time to fit in the grocery shopping... so where can i find even MORE time to fit in anything else, like cleaning the house?!

and all this has got me thinking, "how do people have kids?" ?!?!?! i wonder if i'll ever be able to HANDLE even entertaining the idea of adding another body to this messy life of mine.

even as i'm writing this entry, i'm thinking of all these things that have happened over the last couple of weeks that i want to mention... but it's too much work! too much work to think and remember and write... i AM going nuts.

sorry this entry is so stressful... but that's my life right now!

in other news, i am starting up my own company. i'm filing the papers with the state this week to create my company, i think it's going to be "QuickSale Properties, LLC." I am going to begin investing in some real estate. i hope to be able to make a great amount of extra income with this venture. i should be able to pull in $5,000-$15,000 with each deal i complete. "How many deals can i pull in to start with" is the question though. i have a lot of good contacts at my current job to work with and i think once i do some simple advertising i won't have any problems.

I plan on putting up signs in target areas, and perhaps running an ad in the City Paper. i already have an ad on CraigsList. Oh and now you'll all know not to be alarmed when my voicemail is changed to say: "You have reached QuickSale Properties..." haha.

i'm excited about the investing thing, but it has me on edge, too.

well, it's 8:10 now and i might have time to clean a pathway to my bed... i'm so tired... and i shouldn't be. but i think scott and i are just going to stay in and relax tonight.